Dear Important Pepsi Executives,
I am an addict. I admit it. Although I am not alone, I will admit my addiction. You see, it started very innocently. A Pepsi here, a Pepsi there. Then it become OMGGOTTOHAVEITEVERYFUCKINGDAY.....addiction. What do you guys put in that shit? Crack? I mean, I really considered taking a sample to the local college for some testing of the contents. A blind study, but who am I to take away someone else's crack? I have kids at home and I am too old to be kicking someones ass because they are mad I took their Pepsi away...
Oh Pepsi, how I love you. Your frothy goodness rolling down my throat..... The carbonation fizz buzz I get everytime I crack you open....mmmm..... The taste of your scientifically designed recipe.....The coldness from a can kept at precisely 32 degrees makes me.....To be honest here, it just makes me want to keep on cracking those legal crack cans open.
In an effort to break my addiction, and lose some weight, I have opted for your diet version. Diet Pepsi Max to more specific. Here I was thinking Pepsi was crack! Now I found the real crack. Regular Pepsi is just a front for the good stuff. No matter how bad my morning is going, how sluggish I feel, or how little sleep I got the night before, all I have to do is stop at my local Shore Stop, pick up a bottle of ice cold Diet Pepsi Max, and within 25 minutes, it transforms me into happy, energetic, non-stop Chatty Kathy with the concentration skills of a mad mathematician. I have lost some weight around the middle since I cut the Reg. Pepsi out. I figured I used to drink ATLEAST 8 cans a day. That's 150 calories per serving or 1,200 calories per day, JUST IN SODA. But now I can have all the Diet Pepsi Max I want. I love it and I love you Important Pepsi Executives!
(This blog is dedicated to Brittany over at Barefootfoodie. Go visit her, you will not be disappointed!)